You’re out on a Friday night, living your best life—cocktails flowing, music on point, and your skin glowing in that good lighting. And just when you think the night couldn’t get any better, you turn around and there they are: your ex. Yep, that ex. The one who taught you how to eat amala with your fingers and then ghosted just when your mum started asking if she should pray about them.
Running into an ex is basically a modern rite of passage. And whether it’s in Lagos, London, or your local supermarket, it always begs the question: Should we still be friends? Or is this a block-and-never-look-back situation?
Team “We’re Just Friends”
Some people are firm believers in post-breakup peace. They’ll tell you staying friends with an ex is the grown-up thing to do. No drama. No bitterness. Just two people who shared something real and decided to part ways like adults. And honestly? Sometimes it’s true.
Maybe the breakup was mutual. No tears. No ugly fights. Just a calm understanding that it wasn’t meant to be. These are the unicorn exes—the ones who still send a “Happy Birthday” message without stirring drama. The ones who genuinely want the best for you. Some might even offer business advice, attend your wedding (yes, people do this!), or randomly send you memes you’d actually laugh at. It’s rare, but it happens.
Team “Block and Bless”
But let’s not get carried away. In reality, staying friends with an ex isn’t always cute. It can be a dangerous game of emotional ping-pong.
There are exes who “check in” just when you’ve started moving on. The ones who randomly drop “I miss us” texts when their new situationship starts going left. Or the ones who only remember you exist after you post a fire selfie. Those ones? Block them. Swiftly.
If the breakup was messy—cheating, gaslighting, constant disrespect—then staying friends isn’t noble, it’s unnecessary. You don’t owe anyone access to your peace, especially someone who once turned it upside down.
But What If You Have to See Them?
Because life loves drama, you might end up working in the same office. Or you share mutual friends. Or you’re both invited to that one destination wedding.
In those moments, the key is to be polite without pretending. You don’t have to make small talk. You don’t have to hug them. A respectful nod, a basic “hi,” and going about your day is enough. Grown-up doesn’t mean emotionally available—it just means you’re not being messy in public.
Before You Decide…
Ask yourself a few honest questions:
- Why do I want to stay friends? Is it love disguised as logic, or are you truly over it?
- Can I handle seeing them with someone new? And no, “I’m happy for him” while crying in the car doesn’t count.
- Are there still feelings on either side? Because if yes, you’re not staying friends. You’re playing with fire.
- Did they hurt you? Healing doesn’t require access. Forgiveness is internal work, not a shared group chat.
There’s no universal rule when it comes to exes. Some people genuinely become lifelong friends. Others can’t even say their ex’s name without rolling their eyes—and both are valid. What matters most is choosing what’s healthy for you.
