Lagos will test your patience, your pocket, and sometimes your sense of self. But the right friends remind you who you are. They refill your joy. They make the city feel less overwhelming and a little more like home. Real friendship is still the softest flex.
Between back-to-back traffic, unstable schedules, and everyone just trying to make ends meet, maintaining close friendships can feel like a luxury. Calls are missed. Plans get rescheduled. People quietly grow apart. But friendship in adulthood isn’t about constant contact; it’s about mutual effort, emotional honesty, and choosing each other, even when life gets hectic.
Here’s how people are building meaningful and lasting friendships, despite the noise, the busyness, and the silence in the group chat.
Everyone is Busy. That’s Not an Excuse — It’s a Reality.
Friendship doesn’t always look like constant hangouts anymore. Sometimes it’s voice notes, prayer requests, or sending your friend a funny tweet that screams “you.” The effort might look different now —but it still counts.
Flaky Friends Are Not Your Tribe
If someone is always cancelling, never replying, and only reaching out when they need something, it’s okay to let that go. Adulthood is too short and stressful for one-sided friendships. Prioritise mutuality, not proximity.
Talk It Out Even When It’s Awkward
Friendship breakups hurt. Silent grudges kill connection. Miscommunication is real. Be open. Be honest. Say when you feel neglected, forgotten, or overwhelmed. Soft people have hard conversations too.Don’t ghost people you once prayed with.
Leave Room for Grace
Life in Lagos is intense. Sometimes your friend is flaky because they’re broke. Or sad. Or stuck in third mainland traffic. Extend grace but know when to also protect your peace.
Your Friendships Should Match Your Growth
You’re evolving. Your circle should too. Find friends who match your energy, challenge your thinking, and align with your values. It’s not elitist. It’s necessary.
Every friendship doesn’t have to be deep but the deep ones deserve your effort.
Celebrate the Little Moments
Send that “congratulations” text. Show up to the art show. Plan a dinner that isn’t a birthday or bridal shower. In this city where everything feels transactional, be a friend who remembers the small stuff.
