We can talk to our friends about almost anything—relationships, family drama, career frustrations—but when the conversation shifts to money, things suddenly get awkward. We’ll talk about how much we spent on a new dress, but not about how much we owe on a credit card. We’ll plan trips together, but no one will say, “Actually, that’s out of my budget.”
Part of it is cultural—money talk has long been considered private, even taboo. But avoiding these conversations doesn’t just keep things “comfortable,” it can also cause misunderstandings, silent resentments, and even strain friendships. If we want healthier, more transparent connections, it’s time to get a little braver. Here are the money conversations we should be having with the people closest to us.
1. The Real Cost of Group Plans
You know that moment in the group chat when someone says, “Let’s go on a girls’ trip!” and everyone responds with fire emojis? It’s all fun until the planning starts—and the cost balloons. The truth is, not everyone in a friend group earns the same or spends the same. Pretending otherwise can make some people quietly bow out or feel pressured into spending beyond their means.
Instead of vague enthusiasm, talk numbers early. Be honest about your budget, and ask others to do the same. Suggest alternatives that still feel special without being financially stressful—like swapping that weekend in Dubai for a luxury Airbnb staycation. Real friends will understand.
2. Splitting Bills Without Awkwardness
There’s nothing like the tension of the “how are we splitting this?” moment after dinner. Some friends are happy to split evenly, others would rather pay for exactly what they ordered—especially if the table includes a couple of cocktail orders they didn’t share in. The key here is communication before the bill arrives.
Suggest a clear plan from the start: “Should we each just pay for our own orders?” or “Do you guys want to split evenly?” That way, no one feels short-changed or guilty. And if you’re the one with the higher bill, don’t insist on splitting evenly unless everyone’s comfortable—it’s a friendship, not a business transaction.
3. Lending Money—And Setting Boundaries
Few things can sour a friendship faster than lending money without clear expectations. If a friend asks for a loan, it’s natural to want to help—but you need to be honest about whether you can afford to, and what repayment looks like.
If you say yes, treat it like any other agreement: specify how much, when you expect it back, and whether it’s okay to follow up if the repayment stalls. If you say no, be gentle but firm—your financial stability matters too. Remember: you can offer emotional support or help in other ways without putting yourself in a risky position.
4. Talking About Financial Goals
We share career dreams and life plans with friends all the time, so why not money goals? Whether it’s saving for a home, starting a business, or getting debt-free, opening up about your financial priorities can strengthen friendships—and sometimes, you’ll find ways to support each other.
If you’re both saving, you can hold each other accountable. If one person’s debt-free journey inspires another to tackle their own, even better. Money conversations don’t always have to be about problems—they can be about celebrating wins, too.
5. Being Honest About “I Can’t Afford That”
One of the hardest but healthiest sentences in friendship: “I’d love to, but it’s not in my budget right now.” It’s uncomfortable the first few times you say it, but it’s better than silently resenting the spending or avoiding plans altogether.
The more we normalise this phrase, the less shame there is around it. A good friend will take it in stride, and may even appreciate your honesty—because chances are, they’ve been in your shoes before.
6. Mixing Money and Business
Starting a business with a friend, investing in each other’s ventures, or collaborating on side hustles can be exciting—but it’s risky without clear money talks. Agree on roles, contributions, and how profits will be shared before any money changes hands. Put it in writing, even if it feels overly formal. Friendship can’t survive unspoken assumptions.
7. When Friends Earn More (or Less)
Income differences can create invisible divides—one person can easily afford certain things, while another feels stretched. Instead of letting it breed awkwardness, acknowledge the gap without making it a big deal. The higher earner shouldn’t always be expected to “cover” things, and the lower earner shouldn’t feel pressured to match spending. Finding middle ground—like alternating who chooses activities—can keep the friendship balanced.
