By Dr. Kemi DaSilva-Ibru and Gloria Joacquim
Dear Reader,
Welcome to the WARIF Survivor Stories Series, a monthly feature where stories of survivors of rape and sexual violence are shared to motivate and encourage survivors to speak their truth without the fear of judgment or stigmatization and to educate the public on the sheer magnitude of this problem in our society. The Women at Risk International Foundation (WARIF) is a non-profit organization set up in response to the extremely high incidence of rape, sexual violence, and human trafficking of young girls and women in our society. WARIF is tackling this issue through a holistic approach that covers health, education, and community service initiatives.
WARIF aids survivors of rape and sexual violence through the WARIF Centre – a haven where trained professionals are present full time, 6 days a week, including public holidays, to offer immediate medical care, forensic medical examinations, psychosocial counselling, and welfare services, which include shelter, legal aid, and vocational skills training. These services are provided FREE of charge to any survivor who walks into the Centre.
Becoming Emerald: A Journey at 23
The day began like any other: ordinary, uneventful, and familiar. Nothing felt out of place, so I carried on with my usual routine. I had just returned from my JAMB lesson classes, determined and focused. I had already passed my WAEC exams with excellent results, but despite my efforts, I didn’t meet the cut-off mark for Mechanical Engineering, the course I truly wanted to study. Though I was admitted into another program, I chose to decline. I decided to wait and try again. This was my second attempt at JAMB, and I was more committed than ever.
My mom has two children, my younger brother and me. Our father passed away about five years ago after a long illness, and since then, she has been our sole provider. Over the years, she has taken on various small businesses, doing whatever she could to keep us in school, put food on the table, and ensure we had a roof over our heads. Despite the challenges, she never wavered in teaching us strong values—kindness, integrity, and the importance of contentment. Her resilience shaped us, and her lessons helped us grow grateful for every little thing she was able to give
My mother runs a small food shop where she sells cooked meals, and after school, my younger brother and I always help serve customers. In the evenings, she usually leaves us at the shop while she heads to the market to buy ingredients for the next day. On that fateful day, just like many others, she left us at the shop as usual. That’s when he came—Sonny, the name he gave me. He walked in, sat beside me, and ordered food.
After eating, he checked his pockets and claimed he had forgotten his purse. He pleaded with me to follow him so he could pay me. I was reluctant at first, but he assured me that he had left it at a nearby shop where he had just bought an item. I agreed to go with him. I got into his car, and he waved a handkerchief in my face. I immediately felt weak and dizzy. He drove me to a place I later found out was a short-let apartment.
He used a key to open the apartment and carried me inside, and I was semi-conscious. It was a self-contained apartment. While inside, he removed my clothes, forced himself on me, and he had sexual intercourse with me several times. Meanwhile, my mother returned from the market and began searching for me. She asked my brother, who told her I had gone with a customer to collect payment for the food he bought from our shop. My mother, now frightened, started calling my phone, but I had left it behind to charge before Sonny arrived, and I forgot to pick it up when I left the shop.
My mother cried out for help, and neighbours in nearby stalls joined in, calling my name and searching for me. Eventually, she and her friend went to report my disappearance at the nearest police station. Fortunately, the drug on the handkerchief began to wear off. I pretended I was still dizzy, and after another sexual molestation, Sonny felt satisfied, and he went to take a shower. I quietly got up, tiptoed to the door, turned the lock, and thankfully, it opened. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me.
Though I was still weak, I did not stop in case he chased after me. I kept walking until I found a business centre. I explained my situation to the agent, who gave me her phone to make a call. I called my mom, and the agent described my location to her. I waited until she came to pick me up. We went straight to the police station, where I wrote a detailed statement. The police officers visited the location, but Sonny had already absconded. They began investigating the owner of the apartment.
The police referred us to the WARIF Rape Crisis Centre. I was assessed, and I received medical care. The doctor at the Centre conducted both medical and forensic examinations, and I received psychosocial counselling to help me cope with the trauma. I was experiencing fear, flashbacks, loss of concentration, and anxiety. The counsellor assured me it was not my fault and gave me the strength to begin my healing journey. After the first session, I felt relieved and was better able to process my emotions.
I am hopeful for a meaningful life despite the trauma. The counselling at WARIF helped me greatly. I attended group therapy sessions, where I developed a sense of belonging with other survivors. I found comfort in knowing I was not alone and that others shared similar stories. The sessions taught me new coping strategies and helped me move forward toward healing and fulfilment.
Thanks to the police officers and the apartment owner, the perpetrator was eventually tracked down and arrested. The case was charged to court. We have attended a few hearings, and I am pleased with the proceedings. I am confident that I will get justice.
About three months after the incident, I sat for my JAMB exams, aced my papers, and gained admission to study my choice course, Mechanical Engineering, at one of the prestigious universities in Nigeria. It has been two years since the incident, and I am doing well in my academically, psychologically, emotionally, and mentally.
Many thanks to my support system, especially the WARIF Team. You are doing an incredible job!
*Real name of the Survivor changed for confidentiality
Dear Survivor, please know that you are not alone, and it is not your fault. Help is available. If you have been raped or know someone who has, please visit us at:
The WARIF Centre
6, Turton Street, off Thorburn Avenue, Sabo, Yaba.
or call our 24-hour confidential helpline on
0800-9210-0009
