Dear Reader,
Welcome to the WARIF Survivor Stories Series, a monthly feature where stories of survivors of rape and sexual violence are shared to motivate and encourage survivors to speak their truth without the fear of judgement or stigmatisation and to educate the public on the sheer magnitude of this problem in our society. The Women at Risk International Foundation (WARIF) is a non-profit organisation set up in response to the extremely high incidence of rape, sexual violence, and human trafficking of young girls and women in our society. WARIF is tackling this issue through a holistic approach that covers health, education, and community service initiatives.
WARIF aids survivors of rape and sexual violence through the WARIF Centre, a haven where trained professionals are present full-time, six days a week, including public holidays, to offer immediate medical care, forensic medical examinations, psycho-social counselling, and welfare services, which include shelter, legal aid, and vocational skills training. These services are provided FREE of charge to any survivor who walks into the centre.
RESILIENCE AND TRIUMPH IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY.
I am the sole surviving daughter of my parents due to the heartbreaking loss my family endured before my birth. My mother tragically lost two children at birth before I came into the world. Sadly, when I was around three years old, my mother passed away, leaving me with only fleeting memories of her.
My father was deeply affected by the loss of my mother and my two older siblings. Overwhelmed with grief, he made a vow never to remarry, dedicating himself to raising me single-handedly. However, the circumstances surrounding my mother’s death led to unwarranted accusations from some relatives, who labelled our family as cursed. Furthermore, my mother’s relatives distanced themselves from us, refusing any connection with me or my father. With my father’s only sibling residing in Lagos, I had limited interaction with extended family members, only encountering them during sporadic visits to the village in my early years.
Upon turning 18 years old, I completed my secondary education and sat for the WAEC exams, achieving remarkable results with five distinctions and three credits in the eight subjects I had enrolled for. Subsequently, I also registered for the JAMB exams. After careful consideration and consultation with my father’s elder sister, who resides in Lagos and agreed to serve as my guardian during my undergraduate studies, we selected one of the prestigious universities in Lagos as my first choice, with another university in my state capital as my second choice.
Following the release of my JAMB results, I met the cutoff score to pursue Computer Engineering, a moment that filled my father with joy. He reassured me of his unwavering support, promising to ensure I lacked nothing, even if it meant sacrificing some of his comforts. With great anticipation, my father accompanied me to Lagos, where I stayed at my aunt’s house to prepare for the post-JAMB exams. My father remained by my side throughout the process, providing invaluable support and encouragement.
About three weeks later, the time had come for my father to return to our village. We shared a heartfelt father-daughter discussion, during which he reminded me of my roots and encouraged me to remain focused on my studies. Tears welled up in my eyes, and my father shed a few of his own as we bid each other farewell. It was a poignant moment, as it marked the first time he was leaving me in the care of another person—his elder sister, my aunt, who had assumed the role of my guardian.
Before departing, my father also had a conversation with my aunt, whose children were all grown up, either married or living abroad. This left my aunt and her husband alone in their home, accompanied only by their maid. My aunt ran a successful supermarket in the neighbourhood, while her husband was a retired civil servant.
My aunt always took me along when she went to her shop, teaching me the ins and outs of running a business. However, one day in February, I fell ill from food poisoning and decided to stay home while my aunt went out, promising to check on me later. She took the maid with her, leaving me alone in the house. As I was taking a bath, my aunt’s husband unexpectedly arrived to check on me. Feeling uncomfortable, I locked the door and told him I would come out when I felt better.
My aunt’s husband returned later, and this time, he banged on the door until I opened it; immediately, he came into my room, pushed me on the bed, and removed my clothes. I begged him, but he refused; he forcefully inserted his penis into my vagina and raped me. When my aunt’s husband was done, he raped me a second time, and he stood up when he was satisfied, after which he asked me to clean up. It was in the process of him coming out of my room, and I was still weeping inside the room, whilst still naked, that my aunt came in and discovered what had happened. I explained everything that happened to my aunt, but she refused to listen to me. She threw me out of the house, saying I had seduced her husband. She also collected my phone, so I couldn’t call my dad. I slept outside that night since my aunt did not accept my pleas.
After that incident, I was homeless and began begging for alms because I did not know my dad’s phone number off hand until a few days ago, when a good Samaritan saw me begging for assistance and asked to know my story, and she took me to the police station. The team of police officers asked me to lead them to my aunt’s house, which I did. My aunt and her husband were arrested.
After retrieving my phone from my aunt, the police promptly contacted my father, who wasted no time boarding a bus to Lagos on the same day. Meanwhile, the authorities referred me to WARIF for medical evaluation, treatment, and psycho-social counselling. In the wake of the traumatic ordeal, both my father and I grappled with feelings of self-blame, guilt, and anger. However, at the WARIF Centre, we received comprehensive support free of charge. The counsellor provided invaluable psychological and emotional encouragement, assuring me I was not at fault. Moreover, she guided my father and me through coping mechanisms and helped us establish safety measures to navigate our trauma.
Participating in group counselling sessions at WARIF enabled me to connect with other survivors, fostering a sense of belonging and reinforcing the understanding that I was not alone in my journey. Meanwhile, my aunt’s husband faced legal repercussions for his heinous actions and was rightfully convicted of rape, receiving a prison sentence for his crimes against me.
Fast forward two years, and I am now in my second year of university, achieving excellent grades despite my challenges. I have overcome feelings of guilt, self-blame, and other emotional struggles, emerging stronger and more resilient. My father has also thrived, establishing a branch of his business in Lagos and remaining a constant source of support and encouragement for me. With newfound confidence and self-appreciation, I am excited about my prospects and determined to be the best version of myself. My goal is to support and empower other survivors like me.
I am deeply grateful for the exceptional assistance I received from the dedicated professionals at the WARIF Centre. Their unwavering support and expertise have been pivotal in my healing journey. I sincerely thank the entire staff and management for their incredible dedication and compassion.
*The real name of the survivor was changed for confidentiality.
Dear survivor, please know that you are not alone, and it is not your fault. Help is available. If you have been raped or know someone who has, please visit us at:
The WARIF Centre
6, Turton Street, off Thorburn Avenue, Sabo, Yaba.
or call our 24-hour confidential helpline on
0800-9210-0009