Your unapologetically honest guide to surviving, slaying, and soft-landing into the wildest month of the year.
December in Nigeria is not a month. It is a full-time job, an extreme sport, and a personality all on its own. One minute you’re casually sipping water and minding your business, the next you’re plotting outfit changes for four events in one night and wondering why your bank app suddenly thinks you’re reckless. Whether you’re a seasoned December warrior or a first-timer still spelling “Detty” with one ‘t, there are a few essentials you need before you step into the ring. Consider this your starter pack — the fun, the fashion, the chaos, and the tiny dose of common sense required to make it out alive.
1. A Wardrobe That Can Multitask Better Than You
Detty December is not the time to start experimenting with outfits that require assistance from three friends and a prayer. You need clothes that can take you from a brunch in Ikoyi to a concert on the Island and still look photo-ready. Think statement pieces that deliver drama without inconvenience: slinky dresses, linen sets, wide-leg trousers, crisp shirts, mini bags, bold shoes, and a healthy dose of shimmer. Sequins? Absolutely. Lagos in December is powered by vibrations, lights, and reflective surfaces. Shine is practically a dress code.
And please, pack a pair of flats or slides in your car. All those “I can do five hours in heels” speeches end by 11:47pm when you are dragging your feet through a car park that suddenly feels like a pilgrimage site.
2. A Phone That Won’t Die When the Vibes Peak
If your battery is a coward, this is not its season. Between snapping reels, navigating Google Maps because every party is somehow “hard to find,” and coordinating with your people in the noise, your phone will be working harder than NEPA during elections. A power bank is non-negotiable. A second cord? Even better. Screenshots of gate passes? Essential. Screenshots of the screenshot? Don’t laugh — you’ll thank yourself when security at 2 am decides to develop new rules.
Also, free up space. Nothing hurts like catching the perfect moment — a Burna cameo, a surprise kiss, your friend falling for the third time — only for your phone to respond: “Storage Full.” Don’t be that person.
3. A Circle of Friends Who Understand the Assignment
December friendship is not regular friendship. This is the month where you truly know who your people are. You need at least one planner (the human Google), one connector (the one with “links”), one sensible person (to drag you home before midnight turns into morning), and one unrepentant enabler (the reason you’re outside again after promising the Lord you were done).
Group chats are your headquarters. You’ll coordinate outfits, plan transport, argue over who is late (someone is always late), and talk big about arriving early but still show up at 10:45pm for a 7pm event. It’s tradition.
4. A Budget — And the Discipline to Actually Respect It
Ah yes, the part everyone pretends to forget. Detty December is fun until you check your balance and suddenly become very religious. Gone are the days when #20,000 could carry you through five outings and leftover suya. Today, one night out can humble even the proudest among us.
The hack? Create a December budget, multiply it by two, then add a “miscellaneous” category for spontaneous concerts, last-minute aso-ebi, and “Let’s quickly go out” invitations that end at sunrise. Transfer money into a separate account for bills and emergency adulting — and do not touch it. Because January waits for no one.
5. A Hydration and Skincare Plan (Trust Us)
Your skin will tell on you. Between makeup, late nights, dehydration, and the dusty harmattan breeze trying to sabotage your glow, this is not the time to neglect your routine. Stock up on moisturisers, lip balm, body oils, sunscreen, hydrating serums, and facial wipes to peel off layers of partying.
And drink water. Then more water. Then one more bottle. It sounds boring, but so does explaining to your dermatologist why your face is suddenly acting like you’ve been wrestling in the desert.
6. A Transport Strategy — Because Lagos Will Try You
If you’re in Lagos, understand this: traffic has its own agenda in December. A simple drive from Victoria Island to Lekki can turn into a two-hour reflection session. Your transport plan should be equal parts strategic and spiritual. Leave early when you can. Don’t trust Google Maps after 6 pm. And always have fuel, because nothing humbles a person like running out of petrol on the way to an event where you’d already planned your entrance. If you’re using ride-hailing apps, prepare your chest. Prices will rise like harmattan dust. Surge pricing in December has no conscience.
7. A Little Bit of Sense (Just a Little)
December is carnival season, but please — apply wisdom. Keep your drinks in sight, stick with your people, share your location, and know when to go home. A good time is great; a safe time is even better. And if your village people send you messages like “Come outside, we are live!” at 3 am, kindly ignore. December is long; not every night needs your attendance.
8. A Post-December Recovery Plan
The real test of adulthood comes in January. School fees. Rent. Subscriptions. Deadly exchange rates. Life will come knocking like a debt collector. Create a soft landing plan: detox from outings, reset your sleep pattern, drink water, open your emails, apologise to your liver, and prepare for whatever wahala the new year wants to start with.
Detty December is a beautiful, chaotic, glitter-coated marathon. It’s the one time of year when the country feels lighter, people are friendlier, and every night holds a story you’ll laugh about months later. With the right starter pack, you’ll not only survive it — you’ll own it.
Just remember: December is for the vibes, January is for the consequences. Handle both with grace.
