In the tapestry of Nigerian culture exists a darker thread woven into its societal fabric—slut-shaming. This practice cuts across continents and cultures but has a unique manifestation within Nigerian society.
Navigating this terrain, particularly as a young woman, becomes an exercise in futility; you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
Steeped in traditional norms and expectations, Nigeria, like many societies, has long been patriarchal. Expressions of femininity are encouraged, but only within closely guarded parameters. Women are expected to be modest, demure, and chaste. Yet, in the same breath, they are also expected to be appealing and attractive, lest they be considered ‘unfeminine’ or ‘irrelevant’. It’s a precarious tightrope to walk, and the stakes are high.
In the Nigerian lexicon, few words carry as much weight and sting as “Ashawo”. Rooted in Yoruba, it roughly translates to “prostitute” or denotes someone considered “loose”. Its casual use, especially among men, has made it a weapon flung at women for the slightest transgressions. A woman drives too aggressively? Ashawo. A woman wears a dress deemed too short? Ashawo. A woman in a position of power or influence achieves a notable feat? She must’ve laid on her back to get there. These assertions, deeply entrenched in misogynistic beliefs, aim to reduce a woman’s worth to her sexuality.
But perhaps what’s more alarming is how slut-shaming has been weaponized in the context of sexual assault and harassment. It becomes a tool not just for humiliation but also for blame. The pervasive culture of victim-blaming poses questions such as, “What were you wearing?”, “Were you drunk?” and “Why were you out that late?” These statements gaslight victims, leading them to internalise guilt and believe that the violation they endured was somehow their own fault.
The advent of social media has only exacerbated this issue. Platforms that were designed to connect, inspire, and innovate have morphed into digital battlegrounds. Amidst hashtags and memes, new-age insults like ‘clitocurrency’ and ‘hoeism’ have emerged. Though these terms might sound contemporary, their intentions are age-old; they aim to diminish a woman’s worth by questioning her sexual discretion.
So, how do we untangle this web?
The roots trace back to the very environment we cultivate at home. Parents, especially fathers, play a pivotal role in shaping how boys view women. Every shout of ‘ashawo’ from a man’s lips is reflective of lessons absorbed from his surroundings. As guardians of the next generation, our responsibility is twofold: to teach boys to respect and view women as equals and to empower girls to value themselves beyond societal metrics.
For women who bear the brunt of slut-shaming, the path is arduous but not impassable. In the face of derogatory remarks, whether whispered behind closed doors or shouted in public squares, remember that your worth isn’t tied to societal expectations. Surround yourself with allies, and most importantly, believe in your truth. Every voice that rises against slut-shaming is a beacon of hope for another.
To truly eradicate this menace from Nigerian society, collective action is imperative. Societal norms can change, but only if every individual refuses to perpetuate or be complicit in the harmful cycle of slut-shaming. It begins with awareness, is fueled by education, and is solidified by action.
Ultimately, the question isn’t about how short a dress is or how late a woman stays out—it’s about the kind of society we want to be. Will we be a society that polices and shames, or one that uplifts and empowers? The choice and the power to reshape the narrative lie with us.