At this point, Cupid definitely has a smartphone. If you’re still waiting to lock eyes with the love of your life at a wedding or during Sunday service altar call, bless your optimism. But for the rest of us navigating the blurry space between “hey beautiful” and “are you free this weekend?” on Instagram, the real battlefield of modern romance is in the DMs.
Dating in 2025 is no longer a neat little box of candlelit dinners and handwritten notes (do people still do that?). It’s memes, soft-launches, shared playlists, and the thrilling anxiety of “last seen today at 2:34 pm.” And Nigerians—oh, we’ve taken it to another level entirely. We’ve always been dramatic lovers, but now we’re digital romantics with data plans and trust issues.
You meet someone. You double-tap three of their photos from 2023, hoping they’ll notice. They respond by following you back. Your heart skips a beat. Then you wait. Should you slide into their DMs? Should they? What’s the right opening line—”Hi” or something witty like “So I heard you like jollof and “???
The new rules are unwritten, but you’d better know them if you don’t want to be ghosted before things even begin.
1. Timing is Everything
No one likes a desperado. You can’t just follow and DM in the same breath. That’s poor social etiquette. Nigerians are already naturally suspicious—give it a minute. Let your profile breathe. Maybe even throw in a story reaction or two before attempting a full message. Build tension. It’s digital flirting, not a job interview.
2. Your Profile Is Your CV
Before you say a single word, they’ve already judged you. Your bio, your pinned posts, your highlights—it all matters. Are you mysterious or trying too hard? Is your entire feed filtered selfies and motivational quotes? Do you have sense? In 2025, the real first impression isn’t at a bar, it’s on your page. A well-curated feed might just be the new cologne.
3. Leave Voice Notes at Your Own Risk
While Gen Z finds them endearing, the rest of us are still trying to recover from that one person who sent a five-minute voice note on the second day of texting. If your voice note doesn’t sound like Johnny Drille reading poetry, you might want to stick with typing—at least until there’s mutual vulnerability.
4. Everyone is Talking to Someone
Let’s be real—unless you’ve just come out of a seven-month heartbreak sabbatical, you’re probably not the only person in their DMs. The game is layered. People are dating, soft-dating, vibe-checking, and in “situationships” all at once. If they reply with “I just came out of something” or “I’m not really looking for anything serious,” just know that’s code for: I like you, but I’m keeping my options open.
5. Soft Launch Culture
No one’s posting their partners anymore. What we’re doing is angles of arms, pictures from dates with the other person cropped out, and captions like “This view >>>.” It’s not that we’re hiding them, but… well, yes, we’re hiding them. The heartbreak-to-public-shame pipeline is just too quick these days.
6. Love Languages Have Gone Digital
Words of affirmation? That’s them reposting your business or hyping your selfie in the comments. Quality time? Voice calls and late-night convos about your goals. Gifts? Data. M&S cheesecake from Instagram vendors. A surprise bank transfer on the day your boss shouted at you. In 2025, it’s not always roses—it’s flowers and memes that say “this reminded me of you.”
7. The Art of Leaving Gracefully
Ghosting is still a thing, but the more evolved version in Nigeria now is the “slow fade.” You know it. Texts start coming slower. The voice notes get shorter. Your story views disappear. Then suddenly, you see them reposting another person’s selfie with a suspiciously familiar caption: my peace. And just like that, you’ve been digitally dumped.
But here’s the thing—despite all the modern complexities, people are still falling in love. Still meeting in the most unexpected comment sections. Still building lasting connections that start with something as simple as “you sabi dress sha.” And maybe that’s the beauty of it.
Dating in 2025 is chaotic, confusing, and often comical. But it’s also refreshingly fluid. Love no longer has to look one way. It can start on Twitter Spaces and bloom over late-night FaceTime calls.
So if your love life currently lives in your Instagram inbox, don’t worry—you’re not alone. Just remember: vibe first, ask deep questions later, and for the love of God, don’t send a “wyd?” at 11:45 pm unless you mean business.
