Detty December is not just a month in Lagos; it’s a season, a lifestyle choice, and sometimes a spiritual battle. The sun is hotter, the prices are ruder, and somehow, people who ghosted you in April magically reappear with “Hey stranger, you dey Lagos?” energy. Every night has the potential to become a movie, a documentary, or a cautionary tale your friends will remind you of for months. It’s the one period where you can meet someone at Amala Sky, run into them again at a rooftop party in Ikoyi, and bump into them yet again at Oniru beach — and still not know their real age, real job, or real surname. Dating in Lagos is already an extreme sport; Detty December is simply the Olympics version.
But you can still enjoy it — with sense, softness, and small street wisdom. Here’s the realistic, grounded, Lagos-truthful guide to dating this season.
1. Remember That Everyone Is Their “Festive Best Self” in December
People shine a little brighter in December, and that includes their personalities. Someone who seems effortlessly social and available this month may return to a quieter, less responsive version of themselves when January responsibilities kick in again. Instead of assuming that December charisma equals long-term chemistry, take a moment to watch how they behave when the noise dies down. It saves you from falling for someone’s holiday highlight reel instead of their real-life habits.
2. Take Your Time Before Deciding Someone Is a Perfect Match
The energy in Lagos during December makes it easy to believe that a single great evening means you’ve found your person. But connections formed under strobe lights, loud music, and plenty of adrenaline can be misleading. Give yourself the space to enjoy the excitement without rushing into assumptions. If the vibe is real, it will continue outside the festive atmosphere; if it’s not, you lose nothing by slowing down.
3. Ask Genuine Questions—Curiosity Is Not Stressful, It’s Smart
In a season where everyone seems to be floating from one event to another, it’s surprisingly easy to overlook the basics. Ask simple, grounding questions about who they are, what they do, and what their life actually looks like beyond the holiday circuit. These conversations are not heavy; they simply ensure you’re connecting with a real person and not an Instagram persona created for December aesthetics. Understanding someone’s everyday rhythm gives you a clearer picture of whether you can genuinely align.
4. Let Your Friends Interact With the Person Early
Your friends have a way of seeing things you might miss when you’re caught up in the excitement of a new connection. Introducing someone you like to your circle allows you to observe how they interact in a comfortable, unfiltered environment. Friends pick up tone, energy, and inconsistencies in ways you may not. They’re also your safety net when navigating December’s unpredictable social calendar, and their opinions—whether big or subtle—can be incredibly grounding.
5. Don’t Allow Logistics and Traffic Excuses to Become Their Personality
Dating in Lagos comes with an extra layer of “I’m on the way” culture, especially during December. Yes, traffic is real, and yes, Uber surge pricing can be outrageous, but a person who genuinely wants to see you will still find ways to show up. If every plan they suggest is chaotic, last-minute, or constantly falling apart, it may be a sign that they’re not prioritising you. December is unpredictable, but effort is always noticeable.
6. Avoid Confusing Fast Familiarity for Emotional Depth
It’s easy to bond quickly in December because everything feels amplified—music is louder, laughs land harder, and emotions feel slightly heightened by the energy in the city. But quick comfort doesn’t always equal real compatibility. Give the connection time to settle. See how it feels when it’s quiet, when you’re not surrounded by lights and music, and when you’re both in normal environments. Real emotional depth unfolds over time, not just over cocktails and concerts.
7. Prioritise Safety Without Feeling Like You’re Being Paranoid
More strangers, more parties, and more movement mean you need to be more mindful. Make plans in public spaces, share your location with someone you trust, and pay attention to your intuition if something feels off. Enjoying the holiday season doesn’t mean you turn off your instincts. You can have fun and still be cautious—and that balance is what keeps the memories sweet instead of stressful.
8. Spend Wisely and Don’t Perform a Lifestyle You Can’t Sustain
December has a way of convincing people to spend beyond their comfort zone, especially when dating is involved. Stay generous if you want to, but don’t start acting like a co-sponsor of Detty December. The right person will appreciate simplicity and thoughtfulness, not unnecessary extravagance. Financial balance is one of the most underrated forms of emotional intelligence.
9. Let Yourself Enjoy Connections Without Demanding a Future From Them
Not every interesting person you meet in December is meant to become a partner. Some connections are meant to be fun, fleeting, or simply part of your holiday story. Allow yourself to enjoy the moment without attaching heavy expectations to it. When you stay present, you make room for genuine interactions instead of forcing meaning where there isn’t any.
10. Trust Your Intuition Even When the Lights Are Pretty and the Music Is Loud
If something feels too rushed, too vague, or too inconsistent, there’s usually a reason. Your intuition has a way of picking up signals even when your emotions are distracted by the energy of the season. Listen to it. It will save you from misunderstandings, disappointment, and situations that don’t serve you.
