Dear Reader,
Welcome to the WARIF Survivor Stories Series, a monthly feature where stories of survivors of rape and sexual violence are shared to motivate and encourage survivors to speak their truth without the fear of judgment or stigmatisation and to educate the public on the sheer magnitude of this problem in our society. The Women at Risk International Foundation (WARIF) is a non-profit organisation set up in response to the extremely high incidence of rape, sexual violence, and human trafficking of young girls and women in our society. WARIF is tackling this issue through a holistic approach that covers health, education, and community service initiatives.
WARIF aids survivors of rape and sexual violence through the WARIF Centre – a haven where trained professionals are present full time, 6 days a week, including public holidays, to offer immediate medical care, forensic medical examinations, psycho-social counselling, and welfare services, which include shelter, legal aid, and vocational skills training. These services are provided free of charge to any survivor who walks into the centre.
A 25-year-old Woman’s Journey through Pain and Resilience.
I live with my mother, a widow, and my siblings. After my mom and I reported a case of sexual abuse to the police, I came to the WARIF Centre to receive medical assessment, treatment, and psycho-social support.
It was about two years ago, during a church convention in Lagos, that I first met Charles. He wasn’t alone—his friend Kendrick was with him. I had gone to the convention with a friend, just looking forward to the worship, the messages, and the peace those gatherings usually brought.
Charles approached us with a warm smile. He seemed friendly and easygoing, and soon we were exchanging pleasantries. After a brief chat, he asked for our contacts—mine and my friend’s—and we gave them to him without much thought. Kendrick, on the other hand, kept more to himself. He didn’t say much, but he was polite throughout.
A few days after the convention, Charles reached out to me. Our first phone call lasted hours—we talked about everything and nothing, the way people do when they’re just getting to know each other. He had a way of keeping the conversation light, engaging, and friendly.
Not long after, he invited me to visit his church. It was a well-known one in my city, a place I’d often heard of but had never attended. His invitation felt like the perfect opportunity, and without much hesitation, I said yes. It seemed innocent enough—a chance to worship, connect, and maybe build a new friendship.
Since I didn’t know where his church was, Charles offered to meet me at a familiar location so he could take me there himself. It seemed thoughtful at the time. But instead of heading to the church, he mentioned he had just gotten off work and needed to freshen up—he said he wanted to change into something more appropriate. He asked if I wouldn’t mind stopping by his house for a moment. I didn’t think much of it and agreed.
When we got to his place, he went straight to take a bath while I waited. Afterwards, rather than getting ready so we could leave, he brought out a juice drink. He poured me a glass, saying we should toast to a new friendship. Then he stepped into the kitchen to get a glass for himself. We clinked glasses, and I took a few sips.
Not long after, he excused himself to pick up something from his room. That’s when everything started to feel strange. My head grew heavy. I felt dizzy. Then everything went dark. I drifted in and out of consciousness. The next thing I remember was feeling his hands on me. He carried me to his sofa… and began pulling off my clothes and raped me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with a headache and felt pain in my vagina as I tried to stand. When I came to, he wasn’t in the room. My body felt heavy, but I gathered what strength I had, got up, and slowly made my way to the sitting room. There, I found Charles and Kendrick casually watching a movie—as if nothing had happened. My heart was pounding, but I didn’t confront him in front of his friend. Instead, I asked Charles to join me back in the room.
When we were alone, I looked him in the eye and asked him, quietly but firmly, why he had sexually abused me. He didn’t deny it. Instead, he broke down, apologising repeatedly, saying he didn’t know what had come over him. He begged for my forgiveness.
After a while, worn down by the shock and the weight of the moment, I said I forgave him. Then I asked him to take me home. But he said it was too late—it was already midnight—and insisted it wasn’t safe to be out on the road. Reluctantly, I agreed to stay the night. Still, I needed to reassure my mom, who had called earlier, worried that I wasn’t yet at the church program. So, I called her and told her I was okay.
What I didn’t know at the time was that Kendrick had overheard everything—the confrontation, the apology, all of it. Later that night, while Charles was in the bathroom again, Kendrick quietly pulled me aside.
He looked at me with a seriousness that caught me off guard. “I heard what happened,” he said. “You need to be careful. Charles isn’t who he pretends to be.”
His words stunned me. I was just about to ask what he meant when Charles walked in and caught the end of our conversation. His expression changed instantly—his face twisted with anger. He didn’t say much. Just turned to Kendrick and ordered him to leave the house. Kendrick didn’t argue. He simply got up and left
A few days later, Charles finally took me home. The entire ride, he kept pleading—saying sorry again and again, trying to explain himself, trying to win back my trust. That didn’t stop after he dropped me off. Throughout the week, he kept calling, sending messages, and checking in constantly.
A month passed. I was still processing everything, trying to make sense of it all. Eventually, I told him I had forgiven him. Maybe part of me wanted closure… or just peace.
Soon after, he invited me out again—a “make-up” date, he called it. I agreed.
He picked me up, and we went to a restaurant. The evening felt calmer and lighter as if he was trying to do things right this time. After the meal, he suggested we go back to his place to watch a movie. And for reasons I still wrestle with, I said yes.
At his house, he set the mood for the movie and then brought out drinks. I was sceptical about drinking with him, and when he noticed my hesitation, his mood changed. I apologised and reluctantly drank. That turned out to be a mistake. He had laced the drink again, and I began to feel drowsy. I was semi-conscious as he slowly undressed me, laughing, and then violated me three times until he was satisfied. Afterwards, he fell asleep.
I woke up exhausted while he was still asleep. I felt like stabbing him, but that would mean taking the law into my own hands. So, I quietly left for my house that same night.
This time, no amount of pleading could change anything. I got home and told my mom everything. We went to the police to report the case, and I took them to his house, where he was arrested. The police then referred me to the WARIF Centre. The case was charged to court, and I am hopeful that he will be punished for the crimes committed against me.
At the centre, I received free medical assessments, treatment, laboratory tests, and counselling services. I am so grateful that I had access to all these services at no cost, especially the counselling sessions because they were lifesaving. The counsellor at the centre assured me that it was not my fault and helped me to regain my hope and confidence. I was also taught coping mechanisms.
I attended the Group Therapy sessions counselling sessions where I developed a sense of belonging with other survivors whom I met in the Group. I found comfort in knowing I wasn’t alone, and we learnt new techniques that helped me to heal better. The counselling sessions helped me the most, and I’m proud of my progress. I have resumed school at my university for my final semester, where I am studying pharmacy and doing well academically.
At my last follow-up visit to the centre, I felt emotionally, mentally, and psychologically balanced. My goal is to become the best version of myself and be an advocate against gender-based violence.
Many thanks to the WARIF Team. You are the best!
*The real name of the Survivor was changed for confidentiality
Dear Survivor, please know that you are not alone, and it is not your fault. Help is available. If you have been raped or know someone who has, please visit us at:
The WARIF Centre
6, Turton Street, off Thorburn Avenue, Sabo, Yaba.
or call our 24-hour confidential helpline on
0800-9210-0009
