By Dr. Kemi DaSilva-Ibru and Gloria Joacquim
Dear Reader,
Welcome to the WARIF Survivor Stories Series, a monthly feature, where stories of survivors of rape and sexual violence are shared to motivate and encourage survivors to speak their truth without the fear of judgment or stigmatisation and to educate the public on the sheer magnitude of this problem in our society. The Women at Risk International Foundation (WARIF) is a non-profit organisation set up in response to the extremely high incidence of rape, sexual violence, and human trafficking of young girls and women in our society. WARIF is tackling this issue through a holistic approach that covers health, education, and community service initiatives.
WARIF aids survivors of rape and sexual violence through the WARIF Centre – a haven where trained professionals are present full time, 6 days a week including public holidays to offer immediate medical care, forensic medical examinations, psycho-social counseling, and welfare services which include shelter, legal aid, and vocational skills training. These services are provided FREE of charge to any survivor who walks into the Centre.
MIRACLE: A LIFE UNFOLDING AT 21
I moved from the village to Lagos during the festive season of 2021 to live with my uncle and his family. They had promised to support my dream of pursuing higher education, as I had just completed my secondary school back in the village. Adjusting to city life wasn’t easy—it took me about six months to truly settle in, as it was my first experience living in such a bustling environment.
About six months after I arrived in Lagos, a neighbour named Adekunle, who would later become the perpetrator, began showing unexpected interest in me. We lived in the same compound. One day, out of the blue, he asked what he could buy for me on his way back from work. I was taken aback by the question and politely told him not to worry about getting me anything. But he kept insisting, so I eventually said he could get whatever he could afford. After all, my uncle and his family always made sure I had everything I needed.
Adekunle later returned and asked me to follow him to collect what he had bought for me, claiming he had left it in the store. I followed him, but instead of taking me to a store, he took me to a place which I later discovered was a short-let apartment he had paid for in advance. He opened the door, I entered, and then he locked it behind us. He demanded that I kiss him, and I refused.
Adekunle pushed me onto the bed and pinned me down while I screamed for help, but no one came to my rescue, even though I believed they could hear me cry. He pulled up my skirt, removed my underwear, and pinned me down as I struggled with him. He overpowered me and forcefully inserted his penis into vagina and raped me. When he was done, there were bloodstains on the bed sheets and my skirt. It was my first sexual experience, and it broke my heart to lose my virginity in such a traumatic way. Adekunle threatened me not to tell anyone about the incident, else he would harm me.
When I got home, I was still afraid and shaken, yet I summoned courage and told our nanny. She encouraged me to call my dad and report the incident to him, which I did. My dad then informed my uncle, who promptly reported the case to the police. The police referred us to the WARIF Centre.
At the WARIF Centre, the security lady was very courteous and professional in her duties. The nurse did all the documentation and registered my details in the file. She took my vitals and took me for the test at the lab. (HIV and other STDs test was carried out). I was taken to the doctor for medical assessment, a forensic examination was carried out, and treatment and drugs were given. I was taken for psycho-social care at the counselling unit as I was still in shock and traumatised by the incident, but the counselling session was very helpful in calming me down and aiding my healing. All these services were carried out free of charge.
The counsellor assured me it was not my fault, giving me hope and courage. I joined the monthly group therapy sessions, which helped me learn appropriate coping techniques and develop a sense of belonging to heal from trauma. In the past, I experienced trauma symptoms, especially flashbacks, insomnia, loss of appetite, guilt, and self-blame. At the last follow-up session, I can say that I have overcome those symptoms. I am doing well mentally, emotionally, and psychologically.
Adekunle, the perpetrator, absconded from the environment after the incident, and the police officers did well and were able to trace him. He was found and arrested a few weeks later, and the case was charged to court. As of the last proceedings, he pleaded guilty, and I am confident that I will get justice for the crimes committed against me.
I gained admission to study Nursing at a Federal University in the Southeast. I decided it was best to change my environment and move closer to my hometown. I am currently in my second year and doing excellently well in my academics. I have developed strong empathy for gender-based violence issues, and I intend to work in the GBV space and become an advocate upon graduation.
All this would not have been possible without the support and care from the WARIF Centre. Many thanks to the WARIF Team!
*Real name of the Survivor changed for confidentiality
Dear Survivor, please know that you are not alone, and it is not your fault. Help is available. If you have been raped or know someone who has, please visit us at:
The WARIF Centre
6, Turton Street, off Thorburn Avenue, Sabo, Yaba, or call our 24-hour confidential helpline on 0800-9210-0009.
