By Dr. Kemi DaSilva-Ibru and Gloria Joacquim
Dear Reader,
Welcome to the WARIF Survivor Stories Series, a monthly feature where stories of survivors of rape and sexual violence are shared to motivate and encourage survivors to speak their truth without the fear of judgment or stigmatisation and to educate the public on the sheer magnitude of this problem in our society. The Women at Risk International Foundation (WARIF) is a non-profit organisation set up in response to the extremely high incidence of rape, sexual violence, and human trafficking of young girls and women in our society. WARIF is tackling this issue holistically, covering health, education, and community service initiatives.
WARIF aids survivors of rape and sexual violence through the WARIF Centre – a haven where trained professionals are present full time, 6 days a week, including public holidays, to offer immediate medical care, forensic medical examinations, psycho-social counselling, and welfare services, which include shelter, legal aid, and vocational skills training. These services are provided FREE of charge to any survivor who walks into the Centre.
A Story of Strength and Healing!
My name is Rukayat, and this story begins when I was 22. I am the only child of my parents. My mother and father separated when I was just six months old, following years of domestic violence. The final, brutal attack left my mother hospitalised and barely clinging to life. She never returned to the marriage; to this day, she is grateful to have survived.
My mother was relieved that my grandmother was still alive, so she moved back in with her, bringing me along. A few years later, she found love once more and remarried. My stepfather accepted me as his own, and together, they had three children, my half-siblings. For most of my childhood, I believed he was my biological father—until one day, while celebrating my WAEC exam success, a relative casually revealed the truth: the man I had always thought was my birth father was my stepfather.
I was both shocked and confused, so I confronted my mother. She broke down in tears and apologised, explaining that she and my stepfather had decided to keep the truth hidden because my biological father had never made any effort to reach out after their separation. She then shared the painful story of how, just months after I was born, he had brutally attacked her and tried to take me from her. By some miracle, she managed to save me, but the trauma of that incident was so severe that she had no choice but to flee for both her life and mine.
Despite my mother’s reservations, I insisted on meeting my biological father. After much persuasion, she reached out to him through a relative. He agreed to meet, and when we finally sat down together, he apologised for his past actions and promised to take responsibility for me. My mother reminded him we were doing fine without him, but he continued pleading for a chance to make things right.
For two weeks, my biological father stayed in a hotel in town, visiting me regularly. He took me to movies, book clubs, and various recreational spots—activities my stepfather had always done with me and my half-siblings, so they didn’t seem out of the ordinary. Before leaving, he asked me to visit his home and meet his wife and children. His wife even called me, expressing her desire for us to be a family. I agreed to visit them before heading abroad for university, where my stepfather had secured my admission and covered all my tuition and accommodation fees.
When I arrived at my father’s home in Lagos, everything initially seemed fine. But soon, I discovered the truth: he had lied. He and his wife had no children. His wife worked as a civil servant, and he owned a small business, living in the same building where his office was located.
A week into my visit, my father began touching me inappropriately, excusing it as excitement at having me around. I felt uneasy but didn’t dwell on it. That night, when his wife went to a church vigil, I had no idea about the horror that awaited me. He woke me from my sleep, gagged me with a cloth, forcefully removed my clothes and raped me. He did it three times that night and threatened to kill me if I told anyone.
Thereafter, my dad seized my phone, deleted all my contacts, and told me I would never see my mother, stepfather, or siblings again. I was devastated and trapped. Whenever my mother called, he would stand beside me, forcing me to lie that I was happy and wanted to stay longer at his place. For weeks, I lived in fear and despair, locked in the house whenever his wife was away. He continued abusing me sexually until I lost count of the number of times he raped me. I desperately wanted to tell his wife, but she was always too busy to listen, and he monitored my every move. I became sad and afraid for my life, I even contemplated suicide at some point.
One day, he forgot to lock the door. I ran into the street and found a business centre where I called my mother. Whilst sobbing, I told her everything and gave her my location. She calmly instructed me to return home and tell no one we had spoken. That evening, she and my stepfather arrived with police officers. My father was arrested on the spot, my stepfather insisted that the case be charged to court so he would be held accountable for the crimes he committed against me.
At the police station, we were referred to WARIF Centre, where I received medical care, treatment, and psycho-social counselling services, all free of charge. My counsellor at the Centre was kind and compassionate. She reassured me that the abuse was not my fault. Through therapy sessions, I began my healing journey and regained my self-esteem and self-concept.
I also attended Group Therapy Sessions at WARIF, where I met other survivors and developed a new sense of belonging. I found comfort in knowing I wasn’t alone. My life slowly regained meaning, and I learned healthy coping mechanisms to deal with trauma.
Years have passed since that dark chapter in my life. I am studying Engineering in my second year at a university abroad. Despite the distance, I continued my counselling sessions online, which is one of the unique services WARIF Centre offers to all their clients who cannot come to the Centre due to distance. This has contributed significantly to my academic success and emotional stability.
I am stronger, mentally, psychologically and emotionally stable, and hopeful for the future. None of this would have been possible without the support of the medical team at the WARIF Centre.
Thank you to the incredible team at WARIF Centre! You saved my life.
*The real name of the survivor changed for confidentiality
Dear survivor, please know that you are not alone, and it is not your fault. Help is available. If you have been raped or know someone who has, please visit us at:
The WARIF Centre
6, Turton Street, off Thorburn Avenue, Sabo, Yaba.
or call our 24-hour confidential helpline on
0800-9210-0009
