By Funke Babs-Kufeji
Dating after 40? It’s a whole new world—one filled with confidence, wisdom, and, let’s be honest, far less tolerance for nonsense. Gone are the days of trying to impress or settle for less than you deserve. At this stage, you know who you are, what you want, and what you absolutely won’t put up with. And that’s a beautiful thing.
February, the so-called “month of love,” is the perfect time to dip your toes (or dive headfirst) back into the dating scene. But how do you navigate love, romance, and the occasional dating disaster at this stage in life? With intention, confidence, and a little bit of fun. Here’s how to date like the fabulous, self-assured woman you are.
1. Own Your Story—It’s Your Superpower
By now, you’ve lived, loved, and learned. You’ve had relationships that shaped you and experiences that made you wiser. This isn’t a disadvantage—it’s your edge. Confidence is magnetic, and knowing your worth is the ultimate game-changer. So, walk into dating with the mindset that you’re the prize. Because, well, you are.
2. Know What You Want—But Stay Open
You’ve got standards (as you should), and you’re not looking to waste time. That said, don’t be so rigid that you miss out on a great connection just because it doesn’t fit a pre-set mould. Keep your non-negotiables in check but let yourself be surprised. Sometimes, love comes in an unexpected package.
3. Be Upfront About Your Intentions
Gone are the days of playing guessing games. If you’re looking for a serious relationship, say so. If you just want companionship, own that too. Clear communication will save you time and heartache. The right person will appreciate your honesty.
4. Drop the Games—Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That
No more waiting three days to text back. No more playing hard to get. If you like someone, let them know. If you’re not interested, don’t ghost—just say so. Authenticity is sexy, and at this stage, there’s no need to pretend to be someone you’re not.
5. Keep Your Life Full—With or Without a Partner
A fulfilling life isn’t dependent on a relationship. Keep doing the things you love—travel, hobbies, career goals, friendships. When you’re happy and engaged in your own life, you naturally attract people who align with your energy. Plus, you won’t feel the pressure to make someone your “everything.”
6. Ditch the “Type” Trap
That checklist you had in your 20s. It might be holding you back. As we grow, we realize that attraction is more than just a set of surface-level traits. The right person might not look like what you pictured, but if they make you laugh, challenge you, and respect you, that’s what truly matters.
7. Give Online Dating a Shot—But Stay Smart
Yes, dating apps can feel overwhelming, but they also expand your pool of potential matches. Pick platforms that cater to meaningful connections, and don’t be afraid to take the conversation offline when you feel comfortable. And remember: Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is.
8. Don’t Let Past Heartbreaks Hold You Back
By now, most of us have had our share of heartaches, disappointments, and maybe even a divorce or two. But don’t let past wounds keep you from opening up to something new. Learn from the past, heal, and step into dating with a fresh perspective.
9. Emotional Connection is the Real Deal
Sure, physical attraction is great, but at this stage, emotional intelligence, communication, and shared values matter even more. Look for someone who knows how to resolve conflicts maturely, listens to you, and genuinely respects your journey. That’s the kind of chemistry that lasts.
10. Enjoy the Ride—It’s Supposed to Be Fun!
Dating in your 40s doesn’t have to be daunting—it can be thrilling. Approach it with curiosity rather than pressure. Every date doesn’t have to lead to marriage. Some will be fun, some will be learning experiences, and some may just be great stories to tell your friends over brunch.
11. Share Your Past—But Don’t Make It the Headline
Your past experiences are part of you, but they shouldn’t define your present. Talk about your life openly, but don’t unload all your past baggage on the first date. Let people get to know who you are today—not just the chapters you’ve already lived through.
12. Forget the Age Myth—Love Has No Expiration Date
Who says love is only for the young? Women in their 40s (and beyond) are thriving, glowing, and living their best lives. There’s no age limit on attraction, connection, or romance. Keep your heart open and your energy high, and remember—your best love story might still be ahead of you.
