In today’s dating scene, where swipes have replaced sweet nothings, hashtags accompany heartfelt confessions, emojis speak louder than words, and ghosting is a rite of passage, understanding the intricacies of relationships has never been more fascinating. Enter two Gen Z powerhouses who are redefining this love thing, one podcast episode at a time. Itty Okim and Oluwatosin Omolale, together as hosts of the top relationship podcast in the country — “Bae Gist” — are experts in dissecting the nuances of modern-day courtship and masters of meme-worthy banter.
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, our curiosity about love, relationships, and all things romance is at an all-time high. Join us as we dive into a conversation that’s equal parts insightful, entertaining, and oh-so-relatable.
Ayo: What inspired you to start a relationship podcast, and how does it resonate with your generation?
Itty: Tosin and I knew we had to start something together. We have had too much energy since the inception of our friendship in 2017, and we have a thing for the media. So, when VerseFive reached out with the idea for a podcast, we jumped right in on it. To save all these children from the wicked hands of love.
Tosin: Most GenZ grow up doing ‘test and run’ with their relationships, so Itty and I decided to step in to save lives. Sometimes, my generation goes through really hard stuff, and we find it strange to talk about it because people have a wrong perception of us. “Gen Zs don’t give effort in relationships” and “Gen Zs don’t know how to love and receive love”, so Itty, the cool team at Baegist, and I said, you know what? Instead of leaving these kids clueless, let’s create a platform where they can listen to us, give us feedback, and share their one million ways to do a relationship with us!
Ayo: How do you navigate the fine line between giving modern dating advice while still respecting timeless romantic values?
Itty: Romance is romance, Ayo. Love is love. View it from the context of the rules being the same but the people being different. So, love with Romeo and Juliet of classical times is similar to what Tosin and her man share. We understand this, and that’s why we keep recycling the same advice for all of you who don’t want to hear word and stay away from love.
Tosin: First, Itty and I create a balance with these things. We understand the need for vibrant and youthful energy, and we also understand the place for these timeless values. For dating to work, you have to be open to embracing the values that were before our existence. Again, Balance is the answer!
Ayo: In a generation known for ghosting and sliding into DMs, how would you define love in the digital age?
Itty: Many people feel things that are not love, but because they often lack the right words to express their feelings, they misinterpret it to be love. This is very common in the digital age, and that’s why many think love is a sham. To understand what love really is, we all have to experience it for ourselves because descriptions wouldn’t justify how beautiful yet exhausting and demanding it could be.
Tosin: Love is something that starts in weird places. For love to really work in this generation, it takes so much intentionality and effort. There’s social media which makes people feel like they can do better in their choice of partners. You can literally think about how annoying your partner is, and then you open Instagram, and the first thing you see is, “If he annoys you, leave him for the one who doesn’t”. It will take so much “I know this is my person” to really ignore. Love in the digital age is more work, more intentionality, and more effort.
Ayo: Do you believe in the concept of a “soulmate,” or do you think love is more about timing and effort?
Itty: I literally had this conversation with my friend, Sharon, some weeks ago. You see, I believe anyone can end up with anyone. The best niche one can have is a “spec”. Not narrowed down to one person. However, I also think it is simply more interesting to believe in the concept of a soulmate out there waiting for us. It makes the search intriguing. And what are we without these stories and beliefs, eh?
Tosin: Love is definitely more about timing and effort. I don’t believe that there is “one” person for anybody. That concept is faulty. I say it often that whatever you feed grows. That is just how love is. If you put effort into it, it’d grow.
Ayo: As Gen Zers, how do you think your personal experiences have influenced your understanding of love and commitment?
Itty: I remember saying on national television last year that Gen Z people barely ever go into relationships for the long run. I thought I was right until I met this girl, and all that was on my mind was putting a ring on her finger. Of course, it has spoilt now, but I’m a Gen Zer, too, so my opening statement is a hasty generalisation. People know what they want from relationships, while others don’t. It’s not fair to tag that certainty/uncertainty to any generation.
Tosin: I tell people I am GenZ by age but millennial at heart. My personal experiences are pretty eye-opening, and they have opened my heart to the beauty that is love. My understanding of love and commitment comes from a very strong level of self-awareness. I know that love requires two people to put in 100, so I can’t say because our Gen Z manual says, “Don’t do 100 with someone, do 30”, or my past experiences showed me there; I will now give very little. Nah. I don’t move that way. It is either all or nothing!
Ayo: What’s your take on the traditional idea of “happily ever after” in today’s diverse and fast-paced world?
Itty: Omo, that one na for film o! Don’t get me wrong; people do end up happy with the “right” partners, but it’s not always highs. There will certainly be some lows and difficulties, even while married. “Happily ever after” is the ideal and what we wish for, but a relationship is work, and we shouldn’t forget that.
Tosin: ‘Happily ever after’ still exists if you want it. The world is moving really fast, and with the advancement of the internet, we see different motives being pushed about how draining love is. That is why I said something about filtering what we take in from the world /internet. I am a huge fan of the traditional ‘happily ever after’, surrounded by people currently in the ‘happily ever after’ season, and I don’t expect less for myself.
Ayo: What role do you see technology playing in the future of dating and relationships?
Itty: I literally asked ChatBox to cook up a pickup line for me to use on a girl I met at a club the previous night last week. It was the alcohol, of course, but AI won me that girl. Another situationship unlocked.
Tosin: Technology has always been here to make or mar your relationships. It is you who will decide not to allow it to finish you. With the improvement of technology, human effort might reduce as people start to rely heavily on these technologies, which might deter their relationships.
Ayo: What are some misconceptions about love that you’ve encountered while hosting your podcast, and how do you debunk them?
Itty: One millennial guest once told us that there are only two kinds of people in the world: men and women. And that every woman is the same and every man the same as well. But then again, this is the box thing I always talk about. People can be anything, not just trapped within your definitions of how you think men should behave and how you believe women should behave. People can be anything – get used to that.
Tosin: Hahahah. This question should be for Itty. I am not sure I remember any.
Ayo: How do you think Gen Z’s experiences with family dynamics and upbringing have shaped their beliefs about love and commitment?
Itty: Again, this isn’t limited to Gen Zers. Almost everyone initially approaches love affairs based on information they have previously gathered from probably their parents or guardians or something. Many times, it’s wrong information, so we must be willing to learn and unlearn healthier habits.
Tosin: If anything, I am so sure it has shaped us for good. Gen Zs are healing past traumas; they are seeking therapy, identifying their parent’s shortcomings and looking for ways to treat their own family better.
Ayo: What’s your take on the concept of self-love and its importance in building healthy relationships?
Itty: You cannot give what you do not have. You can’t love others until you fully and wholly love yourself. It’s that simple. Otherwise, you’ll get lost in the relationship, trying to be your partner’s partner and losing the core of yourself in the process. The only way to avoid this is to know yourself properly first.
Tosin: Self-love is highly important in building healthy relationships. It helps one create boundaries and makes it easier to move on when the other party is moving strangely.
Ayo: Finally, as we approach Valentine’s Day, what’s your message to Gen Z about embracing love in all its forms, whether romantic or otherwise?
Itty: I’ll say humans are vessels of love, and trying to stay away from it is trying to be inhumane. And that’s not the point of why you exist. Conform to love. Caveat: you won’t hear me preach love again after this sha.
Tosin: Love is sweet; you should try it!
Not a bad conversion for a bunch of twenty-something-year- olds. One thing is abundantly clear: love knows no generational bounds. Whether you’re swiping right, sliding into DMs, or old-fashioned hand-holding, the essence of romance remains unchanged. So, as Valentine’s Day beckons us to celebrate love in all its forms, I wish you laughter and someone to share that laughter with. Before I forget, STREAM BAE GIST TODAY.